I have some very awesome and funny friends, and they sometimes say the weirdest and funniest things. Here are some recent ones.
1. Me: My ear itches.
D: I think you got pancreatitis in your ear.
2. Let’s go out smelling like baby prostitutes.
3. Don’t think about him, he is sh*t. Sh*t even by third world standards.
4. Herbert the pervert.
5. I love you, my hormonal woman.
6. If I buy a Foley catheter, would you put it in for me?
7. J: He has diabetes and tingling in his feet. What helps?
Me: Scare the crap out of him by talking about amputation. That helps.
8. Email the instructor and tell her “No cookie for you”.
9. I don’t like other people either. That’s what makes us friends.
10. Did you do good in the exam? (This is my favorite one.)
Nursing school is an important time for every nurse. It is also the time when you lose your sense of appropriate topics at dinner table, and the time when you think of few nursing diagnoses for every person you meet. Yesterday, a friend was venting about grad school and all I could think about the situation was “ineffective coping” and “social isolation” which are both nursing diagnoses. Nursing school is known to make people socially awkward and critical thinkers. Nursing diagnosis aside, nursing school is also the time for a student to know the instruments and procedures. I have weekly labs, and all the lab supplies are usually in my car trunk. If you open my trunk, you will find medical supplies like gauge, scissors, IV kit, trach care kit, syringes, needles, gloves, etc.
So, the other day, one of my non-nursing friends was around when I opened my trunk to get a bottle of water. He looked into the trunk, and his expression was priceless! It was a mixture of confusion, disbelief and horror. All he could say in middle of that expression was, “Whaa…umm…are you stealing kidneys these days?” Nursing school has made me a lot of things including an alleged kidney thief.