I have some very awesome and funny friends, and they sometimes say the weirdest and funniest things. Here are some recent ones.
1. Me: My ear itches.
D: I think you got pancreatitis in your ear.
2. Let’s go out smelling like baby prostitutes.
3. Don’t think about him, he is sh*t. Sh*t even by third world standards.
4. Herbert the pervert.
5. I love you, my hormonal woman.
6. If I buy a Foley catheter, would you put it in for me?
7. J: He has diabetes and tingling in his feet. What helps?
Me: Scare the crap out of him by talking about amputation. That helps.
8. Email the instructor and tell her “No cookie for you”.
9. I don’t like other people either. That’s what makes us friends.
10. Did you do good in the exam? (This is my favorite one.)